segunda-feira, 25 de março de 2019

O PAPEL MAIS DIFÍCIL NA FAMÍLIA

O amor de madrasta e de padrasto é um amor elevado, um amor puramente desinteressado. Eles não têm o benefício da relação automática, do laço do sangue, precisam construir com o enteado uma amizade do zero, em que o conselho depende da doçura e da pontualidade para não agredir e não soar como censura.

Chegam como um atentado na vida da criança, novatos num espaço de segurança, previsibilidade e intimidade já estabelecido da família.

São corajosos, pois alimentam uma relação desprovida de garantia e estabilidade. Enfrentam os rótulos e o preconceito por ocupar, no imaginário da infância, o lugar natural da mãe ou do pai. Provam o seu valor e adquirem credibilidade pouco a pouco. Só a constância da lealdade é que consolidará a influência.

Demonstram, na prática, que não vieram substituir ninguém, mas somar amizades e pontos de vista. Surpreendem com uma ternura desobrigada, uma atenção gratuita, uma dedicação sem a recompensa de abraços e beijos fáceis.

Talvez não recebam cartãozinho no dia das mães e dos pais, talvez não sejam chamados para as festas da escola, talvez não estejam representados nos desenhos infantis, talvez tenham que superar a carência e entender que as vitórias são secretas e parciais.

Andam no trapézio das emoções, evitando sofrer a desqualificação em qualquer embate: “Você não é meu pai”, “Você não é minha mãe”.

Não podem despertar a inveja e a concorrência sendo bons demais, nem a preocupação sendo indiferentes. Não podem dar bronca no momento de raiva nem devem ser tolerantes em excesso na alegria.

É como se fossem estrangeiros na dinâmica das cobranças e deveres. Recorrem à tradução simultânea do marido ou da esposa, para repassar os seus ensinamentos.

Armados na paciência, amando a paciência, jamais invadem a privacidade, ficam na porta esperando um convite para entrar na sensibilidade dos pequenos.

Enquanto os pais são cachorros, abertos aos pulos e colos, a madrasta e o padrasto são gatos, vigiando de longe, estudando cada situação.

Não há papel mais difícil dentro de casa. Encarnam o equilíbrio. Medirão as palavras e o tamanho do silêncio. Vão se apaixonar por uma pessoa que possivelmente não será para sempre.

Mas o amor é para sempre quando o coração se mostra um duradouro ventre.

Publicado em Jornal Zero Hora em 24/7/2018

150 comentários:

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Adriana disse...

Tenho 3 enteados. Agora já adultos. Você disse tudo. É exatamente assim. É de meus excessos eu só me arrependo. Poderia ter sido ainda mais tolerante. E fui mais que qualquer um na casa...

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